Catt Scratches

I’m a work in progress, of course. We all are. It’s so important that we keep progressing but it’s hard. I believe that when we fail to improve ourselves, or when we stop striving to make ourselves better, we set ourselves up for death. Or,what in my mind is worse than death:  depression.

We have to be our own personal heroes. And we have to always work at it. But, it’s hard to do. Because by nature, we are our own worst enemies.

I made up my mind not too long ago to run a marathon and not just any marathon, but the Mount Desert Island Marathon, in Maine. It’s a difficult course. I’ve never run a marathon before. And every other practice run is grueling and intimidating. That’s not how I should feel; that’s not the right attitude. But it scares me. It’s strange. It’s something I want to do. But it hurts.

I want to run this Marathon because I love Maine. And in some weird way, I feel like I can demonstrate my love for Maine by running this marathon. I will become part of Maine once I do this.

Oh well, I never said I wasn’t delusional or self important. I had no ego for a lot of my life; I didn’t really develop one until my mid forties. Now that  I have one, I like to feed it.

And I’m scared about hurting my back again. So I’m glad I have support. My trainer primarily and my daughter who will be with me to watch me run.  I have to find the fun in this transaction. I know it’s there. I bet if I get rid of the fear that the fun will be there. Pain doesn’t bother me. Physical pain, anyway. I’m not a big fan of emotional pain.

So today, it is the middle of the 23rd week before the Marathon on October 16. I can run at this point, eight miles without stopping. I have 22 weeks to get to 26.2 miles.

Early to bed. Early to run. More tomorrow.